Cherylcan's Blog

Life and Literature

Archive for July, 2013

One hard “No”

Recently, I was requested to think about an opportunity to work with an amazing team at a local nonprofit. I saw what I could do to help and got really excited about the opportunity. I let my imagination run away with dreams and ideas of what this opportunity could be. Then one night I went to a meeting of a local group. I realized just how much these volunteers did, and how I could become so immersed in their issues. I connected on a personal level with these people. I was not sure that I could disconnect from their needs at the end of the day to focus on my own.

I realized that as much as I wanted to help and be there for the team, this position would take up all my energy. Not just physical energy, but emotions would be involved, and memories that are painful to relive. Not that I would not want to give, but I still have three children at home and a husband that I need to be there for. I have been overwhelmed before by giving too much of myself and could see the potential here, especially when everyone around me would be giving of themselves too.

Even with all those reasons running through my head. I spent a weekend trying to convince myself that I could do it, I was stronger now, and would love to help. Then my daughter had a small teenage crisis, nothing major but she needed mom. Add to that responsibilities of my business and I was swamped. I could not add any additional needs. Especially, a full time position that had the potential for lots of overtime. It was the hardest message I drafted. This person had wanted me to fill this void, she thought I had the skills, and I do. It is really hard to say “N0” when you want to help. Ultimately, my “no” became about maintaining my good health and my family dynamic.